RELIGIOUS, BUT
LOST!

Below is my salvation testimony. -
Dominie
I was born into a Christian
home and attended church faithfully. I was baptized by immersion when
I was 12. I made straight A's and was active in school
organizations. I could quote many Bible passages. As a college
student at UCLA in 1968, I became involved in
campus Christian groups. I later attended Bible college and served
as a missionary. Then I began teaching in a Christian school and playing
the piano for various churches. However, there was one problem - I was
not "born again."
How could this
be?
When I was growing up, I
thought that sins were things like drinking, dancing, smoking and playing
cards. I did not know anything about having a
loving, personal relationship with God through Jesus
Christ. When I was a 16 year old college freshman, I heard the
words "God loves you" for the first time while attending Intervarsity
Christian Fellowship and Campus Crusade for Christ meetings. This was
unusual and refreshing to me, because I had always thought of God
as a stern taskmaster in the sky with a big stick, ready to hit you if you did
anything wrong. Many of my college friends seemed to have a close, warm
relationship with God. When I was around them, I felt like an
outsider. I was with God's family, but not part of the
family.
After college, I discussed
this feeling of not being saved with two Christians whom I respected. They
said that I was a good person and just needed the assurance of my
salvation. That didn't satisfy me. I still had doubts. People
couldn't see the hidden sins in my life, particularly unforgiveness toward
people who had wronged me. I had no joy in hearing of the
salvation of others. I felt that I knew more than new believers
because of my knowledge of the Bible and "deeper life" teachings. I guess
you could say that my Christian experience was "all in my
head."
At the age of 36, I was a busy
career woman. On May 11, 1988, I was attending a
revival service at Temple Baptist Church in Tallahassee, Florida where
Evangelist Al Lacy was holding meetings. I sat in the back of the
auditorium on the ground floor under the balcony. In front of me were
a row of rough-looking men from the rescue mission that our church
operated downtown. The evangelist spoke on "The Contrary Christ" -
how Jesus had defied every law of nature. He was born of a virgin, He
healed the sick, He walked on water and He even ascended into heaven,
defying the law of gravity! I noticed that the men from the rescue mission
were saying a lot of enthusiastic "Amens" and "Hallelujahs." In my
heart I looked down on them because of their unkempt appearance, and some
even had needle marks on their arms from long term drug use. But I also
observed their joy and obvious connection with God - something I did
not have. I had an intellectual faith and didn't like emotional
Christians. They made me uncomfortable.
As we stood to sing the
invitational hymn, the Holy Spirit suddenly and powerfully gripped my heart with
the absolute conviction that I was not saved. I could hardly
breathe! There was no denying it....I was NOT
SAVED! The thought went through my mind that if an
explosion were to destroy the building we were sitting in, the men from the
rescue mission would go to heaven and I, "Miss Goody Two
Shoes," would go to hell.
I nearly ran down the
aisle to the front of the church. I was crying. A lady met
me at the altar and asked if I knew Ephesians 2: 8 and 9, "For by
GRACE are ye saved THROUGH FAITH; and that not of yourselves: it is the GIFT OF
GOD, NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast." I told her that I
had learned those verses as a child but had never understood them until
just then! I realized for the first time that I couldn't get to heaven on
my own merits. I needed a Savior! Right there I made a
"business transaction" with the Lord - I gave Him my sins and He gave me
His righteousness. What a great deal! As the old hymn states:
"'Tis done, the great transaction's done - I am my Lord's and He is
mine!"
My life was forever
changed! I now belonged to Jesus! I was eager to tell
others! I shuddered at how close to death I had come several times (car
accidents, major surgery, etc.) before I was saved. I loved the
Lord and wanted to obey Him in every area of my life. I wrote to the
evangelist and asked him if I needed to be baptized again, since I had already
been baptized as a child (in order to join a church). Al Lacy wrote
back with a thundering "YES!!!" He said that it is BELIEVER'S
baptism, and now that I was a believer, I needed to be baptized! He said
that I had been RELIGIOUS BUT LOST, and that he had met many
people like me.
It took some convincing to get
my pastor to baptize me, but one night I wrote down 10 things that changed in my
life from the night of my salvation. I read these to my pastor on the
phone, and he said joyfully, "Sister, you've been saved!!!" I said, "I
know!!" I was baptized by my pastor in September. I now
felt ready to serve the Lord, and I loved Him so much for saving me!
I began reading a popular
booklet at the time called "88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be In
1988." As I pondered this information, I wept! I said,
"Lord, I just got saved and have not had time to serve you before you come
back!" But the year came and went and Jesus did not return, so I had time
to serve the Lord after all! I was so happy!! I was like one of
the workers in Jesus' parable who was called late to work in His
vineyard, while others had been called earlier.
It continued to amaze me that
I could have been in church all my life and not been
saved! I had many questions about this. I told my pastor
that I could have died and gone to hell on a number of occasions, and it was
frightening to contemplate! My pastor said that God knew I would live to
be 36 and spared my life.
I now understood how others
had testified to being saved after years of Christian service - a youth pastor
at my mother's church, a prominent deacon, a seminary student, and a man in our
church choir. All were saved when the Holy Spirit moved upon their hearts
during a church service. What I learned is that we can't save
ourselves. We are born again "not by the will of man, but by the will of
God."
There's an
interesting tract called "Counterfeit Christians"
by Evangelist Luis Palau that I read shortly after I was saved.
He says that four out of five people consider themselves to be
Christians. He asks this question, "What does it take
to make someone a real Christian?" He gives the following list and
asks the reader to check as many as they think apply:
Being born in America
Thinking positively
Living a good life
Going to church
Giving to others
Being baptized
Taking communion
Believing in God
Talking about Jesus
Christ
Praying
Reading the Bible
Prior to being born again, I
would have been checking things off the list! Luis Palau says, "The
truth is that while many of the items are Christian activities, not one of them
can make you a real Christian...God wants you to know where you stand in His
eyes. Don't settle for counterfeit Christianity when you can have the real
thing." This is what I had for so many years - "Counterfeit
Christianity!"
After I was born again, things
changed for the better - but not in an earthly sense. Satan launched
an ugly, massive attack against my life, but at the same time the Lord began His
work of sanctification in me. I had become a "new creature in
Christ." "Old things had passed away and all things had become new," but
God had to get rid of my rebellious nature. During these years of upheaval
and personal disaster, I learned to submit to Jesus as the Lord of my
life. I soon found that there could only be ONE will in my
life - and it was me yielding to His will. Dominie had to "die" so that
Jesus could began living His life through me. I learned to say, "Not my
will, but Thine be done."
The words of many
old hymns are very accurate in their message: "On Christ, the Solid Rock, I
stand; all other ground is sinking sand." "Nothing in my hand I
bring, simply to Thy cross I cling." "Not the labors of my hands can
fulfill Thy laws demands...All for sin could not atone; Thou must save and Thou
alone."
If a person is
depending on anything other than the atoning blood of Jesus Christ to get to
heaven, he is not born again. The Holy Spirit can open a person's
eyes to their need of a Savior, just as He did with me - when I was religious
but lost!
Return to Dominie's
FMS/CFIDS Home Page