RELIGIOUS, BUT
LOST!

Below is my salvation testimony. -
Dominie Bush
I was born into a Christian home and attended church
faithfully. I was baptized by immersion when I was 12. I made
straight A's and was active in school organizations. I could quote many
Bible passages. As a college student at UCLA in 1968, I became involved in
campus Christian groups. I later attended Bible college and served as
a missionary. Then I began teaching in a Christian school and playing the
piano for various churches. However, there was one problem -
I was not "born again."
How could this be?
When I was growing up, I thought that sins were
things like drinking, dancing, smoking and playing cards. I did not
know anything about having a loving, personal relationship with God
through Jesus Christ. When I was a 16 year old college
freshman, I heard the words "God loves you" for the first time while
attending Intervarsity Christian Fellowship and Campus Crusade for Christ
meetings. This was unusual and refreshing to
me, because I had always thought of God as a stern taskmaster in the
sky with a big stick, ready to hit you if you did anything wrong. Many of
my college friends seemed to have a close, warm relationship with
God. When I was around them, I felt like an outsider.
I was with God's family, but not part of the
family.
After college, I discussed this feeling of not being saved
with two Christians whom I respected. They said that I was a good person
and just needed the assurance of my salvation. That didn't satisfy
me. I still had doubts. People couldn't see the hidden sins in my
life, particularly unforgiveness toward people who had wronged me. I
had no joy in hearing of the salvation of others. I felt that I knew
more than new believers because of my knowledge of the Bible and "deeper life"
teachings. I guess you could say that my Christian experience was
"all in my head."
At the age of 36, I was a busy career woman. On May
11, 1988, I was attending a revival service at Temple Baptist Church
in Tallahassee, Florida where Evangelist Al Lacy was holding meetings. I
sat in the back of the auditorium on the ground floor under the balcony.
In front of me were a row of rough-looking men from the rescue mission
that our church operated downtown. The evangelist spoke on "The
Contrary Christ" - how Jesus had defied every law of nature. He was born
of a virgin, He healed the sick, He walked on water and He even ascended
into heaven, defying the law of gravity! I noticed that the men from the
rescue mission were saying a lot of enthusiastic "Amens" and
"Hallelujahs." In my heart I looked down on them because of their
unkempt appearance, and some even had needle marks on their arms from long term
drug use. But I also observed their joy and obvious connection with
God - something I did not have. I had an intellectual faith and
didn't like emotional Christians. They made me
uncomfortable.
As we stood to sing the invitational hymn, the Holy Spirit
suddenly and powerfully gripped my heart with the absolute conviction that I was
not saved. I could hardly breathe! There was no denying
it....I was NOT SAVED! The thought went through
my mind that if an explosion were to destroy the building we were sitting
in, the men from the rescue mission would go to heaven and I, "Miss
Goody Two Shoes," would go to hell.
I nearly ran down the aisle to the front of the
church. I was crying. A lady met me at the altar and asked
if I knew Ephesians 2: 8 and 9, "For by GRACE are ye saved THROUGH
FAITH; and that not of yourselves: it is the GIFT OF GOD, NOT OF WORKS, lest any
man should boast." I told her that I had learned those verses as
a child but had never understood them until just then! I realized for
the first time that I couldn't get to heaven on my own merits. I needed a
Savior! Right there I made a "business transaction" with the Lord - I
gave Him my sins and He gave me His righteousness. What a great
deal! As the old hymn states: "'Tis done, the great transaction's
done - I am my Lord's and He is mine!"
My life was forever changed! I now belonged to
Jesus! I was eager to tell others! I shuddered at how
close to death I had come several times (car accidents, major surgery,
etc.) before I was saved. I loved the Lord and wanted to obey
Him in every area of my life. I wrote to the evangelist and asked him if I
needed to be baptized again, since I had already been baptized as a child (in
order to join a church). Al Lacy wrote back with a thundering
"YES!!!" He said that it is BELIEVER'S baptism, and now that I
was a believer, I needed to be baptized! He said that I had been
RELIGIOUS BUT LOST, and that he had met many people like
me.
It took some convincing to get my pastor to baptize me,
but one night I wrote down 10 things that changed in my life from the night of
my salvation. I read these to my pastor on the phone, and he said
joyfully, "Sister, you've been saved!!!" I said, "I know!!" I was
baptized by my pastor in September. I now felt ready to serve
the Lord, and I loved Him so much for saving me!
I began reading a popular booklet at the time called
"88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be In 1988." As I pondered this
information, I wept! I said, "Lord, I just got saved and have
not had time to serve you before you come back!" But the year came and
went and Jesus did not return, so I had time to serve the Lord after all!
I was so happy!! I was like one of the workers in Jesus' parable
who was called late to work in His vineyard, while others had been
called earlier.
It continued to amaze me that I could have been in
church all my life and not been saved! I had many questions about
this. I told my pastor that I could have died and gone to hell on a number
of occasions, and it was frightening to contemplate! My pastor said that
God knew I would live to be 36 and spared my life.
I now understood how others had testified to being saved
after years of Christian service - a youth pastor at my mother's church, a
prominent deacon, a seminary student, and a man in our church choir. All
were saved when the Holy Spirit moved upon their hearts during a church
service. What I learned is that we can't save ourselves. We are
born again "not by the will of man, but by the will of
God."
There's an interesting tract called
"Counterfeit Christians" by Evangelist Luis Palau that I
read shortly after I was saved. He says that four out
of five people consider themselves to be Christians.
He asks this question, "What does it take to make someone a
real Christian?" He gives the following list and asks the reader to
check as many as they think apply:
Being born in
America
Thinking
positively
Living a good
life
Going to church
Giving to
others
Being baptized
Taking
communion
Believing in
God
Talking about Jesus
Christ
Praying
Reading the Bible
Prior to being born again, I would have been checking
things off the list! Luis Palau says, "The truth is that while many
of the items are Christian activities, not one of them can make you a real
Christian...God wants you to know where you stand in His eyes. Don't
settle for counterfeit Christianity when you can have the real
thing." This is what I had for so many years - "Counterfeit
Christianity!"
After I was born again, things changed for the better -
but not in an earthly sense. Satan launched an ugly, massive attack
against my life, but at the same time the Lord began His work of sanctification
in me. I had become a "new creature in Christ." "Old things had
passed away and all things had become new," but God had to get rid of my
rebellious nature. During these years of upheaval and personal
disaster, I learned to submit to Jesus as the Lord of my life. I
soon found that there could only be ONE will in my life - and it was
me yielding to His will. Dominie had to "die" so that Jesus could began
living His life through me. I learned to say, "Not my will, but Thine be
done."
The words of many old hymns are very accurate in
their message: "On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking
sand." "Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to Thy cross I
cling." "Not the labors of my hands can fulfill Thy laws
demands...All for sin could not atone; Thou must save and Thou alone."
If a person is depending on anything other
than the atoning blood of Jesus Christ to get to heaven, he is not born
again. The Holy Spirit can open a person's eyes to their need of
a Savior, just as He did with me - when I was religious but
lost!
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